BEHOLD! The Power of a Nuriko Special (TAandLilly)
by TA Maxwell
Summary: 10:00. Two hyper authoresses, a new muse, and a story idea went into creating this crazy fic which involves the majority of the cast of FY...all drunk as heck. Yes, including the gods.


Characters: Majority of the cast of Fushigi yuugi, minus the mikos, and some characters get very minor parts due to we forgot who controlled whom. Gomen if your guy didn't get a big part. If there is anyone you want to blame for something, look at the actions. I, TA, use *…* or …. Lilly prefers ::…:: 

Other Characters: 

- Chibi Chichiri With Sign, AKA Chibi C

- Chibi Nuriko With Sign, AKA Chibi N

- Characters from Record of Lodoss Wars and Weiss Kruez

- Maze and Devil Lilly, The Authoresses AKA Who To Blame

Chibi C: *climbs up on Maze's other shoulder, across from Chibi N* 

Maze: Hey, Lookie! I got my own shoulder angel and devil!

Lilly: ::jumps on Nuriko's shoulder:: I'm his shoulder devil! ::ignoring the fact she's 5'6"::

Nuriko: A bit big.

Lilly: ::huggles:: Oh well!

Maze: C'mon! Set up stage we must!

Lilly: YES!

::Lilly (still in the devil costume) pulls Tomo out of a plothole:: LIGHTS!

Chichiri: I'm not doing this for one of your silly stories no da!!

::Lilly jumps on Chichiri's shoulder:: You want toooooo

Chibi N: *jumps onto the open curtain rope*

Chibi C: *jumps onto the close curtain rope*

Chichiri: Itai! *falls over*

::a Chibi Chichiri in a devil outfit whacks her with a flyswatter::

CCIDO: I'm his shoulder devil na no da!

Chichiri: ....*flicks his shoulder devil in the head*

Chichiri: I'm not doing it no da.

Nuriko: I'll make you a virgin Nuriko's special!!

Chichiri: .......oh...okay no da!

Lilly: I wanna be someone's shoulder devil! ::cries::

Nuriko: You can be mine. just go chibi

Lilly: OKAY! ::goes chibi and jumps on his shoulder::

Lilly: Make a whole round of Nuriko Specials! For the whole bunch of Seishi!

Nuriko: Much better. *hands out Nuriko's specials to the Suzaku AND Seiryuu seishi*

Tomo: Heeeeey! ::grabs it, sniffs it:: It smells safe…

Soi:: It's not poison, you dingbat!

Nuriko: They're not poisoned.

Chichiri: you sure this is virgin no da? *looks at his oddly*

Maze: *A virgin Nuriko's special? Yeah right....**smirks*

Maze: Let's start this!!

Devil Lilly: YEAH!

Maze: *opens doors* *fangirls flow in*

Devil Lilly: Single file!

Fangirl: Why?

Devil Lilly: 'Cause I'm a devil and like annoying you. :;sticks tongue out::

Maze: *a few minutes later* LADIES AND FANKITTIES!

::everyone looks up::

Maze: Welcome to the next performance from the Bob theater!

Crowd: YAY!

Fankitties: MREOW!!!

Lilly: Please enjoy the hilarious antics of drunken Seishi and kitties!

Ryo-Ohki: MEOW! ::waves sign:: "TAMA-NEKO!"

Maze: In "Behold! The Power of a Nuriko Special!"

Crowd: YAY!

Devil Lilly: YAY!

Maze: Before we begin, I'd like to introduce our new official theater muse, Chibi Chichiri with Sign!

Chibi C: *swings out of the close curtain rope, waves before swinging back*

Chichiri Fangirls: ::Screech:: SO CUTE!

Devil Lilly: I'M DEAF! ::cries::

*sign pops out from the side* [NO DA!]

Devil Lilly: Oh, announcement! I'm Nuriko's shoulder devil!

Maze: So without further ado, enjoy the show! And stay OFF the stage. 

Devil Lilly: We have the REAL Ashitare this time! I think.

Devil Lilly: ::pokes Ashitare with her plastic pitchfork::

Chibi N: [It's only a model]

Devil Lilly: ::pokes it again:: Really? ::poke poke::

Chibi N: [Yup]

Devil Lilly: ::continues poking it with the pitchfork:: ::poke poke::

Maze: *ahem*

Maze: LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!

Devil Lilly: YES!

Maze: *scurries backstage*

Devil Lilly: ::follows::

*Suzaku seishi sit at one table, Seiryuu seishi at another, both in the same bar* 

Tomo: Uh, what are we here for?

Maze: *snaps up another table* *The Genbu and Byakko seishi(young and alive) appear*

Tatara: O.o;; Where are we?

Chichiri: *pokes his glass* Are you SURE this is a virgin no da?

Nuriko: Po-si-tive! *passes out Nuriko's specials to the newcomers*

::Tomo sniffs his drink deeply, on the brink of snorting it::

Soi: O.O;;

Maze: *from backstage* AND OUR SPECIAL GUESTS...ARE GOING TO KILL ME FOR THIS! *a fourth table appears with the four human form gods*

Devil Lilly: ::cackles::

Seiryuu: I know those voices... TA! LILLY!

::Lilly hides::

Suzaku: Wha...??

Byakko: ....MAXWELL!!

Maze: Konnechiwa Byakko Seikun!

Genbu: *blinking at the drink placed in front of him*

Devil Lilly: ::pokes Genbu with her plastic pitchfork:: Drink it!

Byakko: Maxwell you're going to pay for this!!

Maze: Are you still mad at me about that porn bit? (See By The Gods)

Byakko: *glare*

Devil Lilly: ::cackles:: Byakko is perverted!

Devil Lilly: ::pokes Genbu with her pitchfork again:: DRINK, CHUG-A-LUG, CHUG-A-LUG!

Maze: hentai Byakko-sama!

Devil Lilly: ::pokes Seiryuu as well:: DRINK!

Chichiri: Bottoms up no da! *drinks when he thinks is a virgin Nuriko's special* *most everyone else follows suit*

Devil Lilly: ::a bunch of drunken people along with Lilly's mom and dad:: SOOOOO... DRINK, CHUG-A-LUG, CHUG-A-LUG, CHUG-A-LUG!

Tomo: ::pauses;: Who the hell are those people?

Devil Lilly: Part of the running club, a.k.a. the Hashers, that my mom used to belong to. They'd get drunk now and then.

::the Hashers continue chanting::

Seiryuu: ::chugs his drink::

Tomo: ::sniffs his drink again:: it still smells okay...

Tomo: ::chugs the last of it::

Chichiri: *pauses* Nu-ri-ko....

Nuriko: haaaai??

Chichiri: THAT WASN'T A VIRGIN!

Tasuki: Whooo!!! Go Chichiri!! *already drunk*

Chichiri: *hiccups, glaring at Nuriko* 

Soi: It's not poison... baka.... ::sips hers::

Tomo: ::cackles for no reason and climbs up onto the catwalk:: 

Tomo: I'M A GOLDEN GODDESS! ::swings from a stage light::

Soi: Goddess...? O.O;;

Miboshi: Oh...oh dear....

Tomo: ::continues swinging from the lights and lets go:: LOOKIE AT ME! I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYY!

::CRASH:: I'm okay!

Miboshi: I knew I shouldn't have had that Dr. pepper...TA, WHERE'S A BATHROOM!?!

Devil Lilly: THERE ISN'T ONE!

Suzaku, Byakko, Genbu: In our name, not here...

Devil Lilly: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Miboshi: *already doing the "potty dance"*

Byakko: Hit me again 'tender! *slams down an empty glass which Nuriko refills*

Suzaku: I am the chicken of the skyyyyyyy!!! *singing Badly off-key*

Seiryuu: ::spins on his seat and laughs insanely:: HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA! LOOK AT THE PRETTY FLOWERS! ::points at empty space in front of him::

Seiryuu: ::begins skipping around the stage:: LOOK AT THE PRETTY PRETTY FLOWERS!

Tomo: ::runs through the audience flapping his arms:: BAWK BAWK BAWK! ::like a chicken::

Nakago: He's not my God, he's not my God....Nuriko I need another!!

Hikitsu: HIT ME AGAIN!

*Suboshi's ryuuseisui fly at Hikitsu, hitting him*

Suboshi: *giggles like a lil kid*

Chiriko: *sniffle* 

Hotohori: ::begins hiccuping:: OH I WISH I WERE ::hic:: A LITTLE BAR OF ::hic:: SOAAAAAAAAAP! ::hic:: I'D GO ::hic:: SLIDEY SLIDEY SLIDEY! ::hic:: OVER EVERYBODY'S HIDEY! ::hic::

Soi: ::grabs onto a curtain rope and gives a Tarzan yell:: I AM QUEEN OF THE AMAZONS! ::swings from the rope::

Soi: Whee!

Chibi N: [AAAAAAGH!!] *on Soi's rope*

Soi: ::slides off and drops onto the stage below::

::THUD::

Tasuki: What do you do with a drunken seishi, what do ya do with a drunken seishi, what do you do with a drunken seishi 

Chibi Chichiri: EARLY IN THE MORNING NO DAAAA!! *bouncing around*

Tamahome: ::jumps up on a table and begins singing:: WHAT... CAN MAKE... A HIPPOPOTAMUS SMIIIIIIIILE... WHAT... CAN MAKE HER WALK FOR MORE THAN A MIIIIILE....

Devil Lilly: OH GOD NO! Not the Hippo Song!

Devil Lilly: ::covers her ears and whimpers::

Nakago: Tama-babe hic yer looking a little green.....drops a trash can on Tamahome's head 

Hotohori: ::hic:: I WISH I WERE A FISHIE IN THE SEEEEEEEEAA....

Tamahome: IT'S DARK!

Tasuki: I WISH I WERE AN OSCAR MEYER WEEEEEEEEEEENEEEEERRRR!!!!!

Nuriko: *takes aim and whacks Tamahome's trash can with a spoon*

Seiryuu: ::starts banging on Tamahome's trashcan:: POLLEY PARROT!!!!! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O-CLOCK WAKEUP CAAAALL!

Nakago: *watching Suzaku do aerial stunts* Rooster....Miboshi! The rooster needs saving!!

Miboshi: MY BLADDER NEEDS SAVING!

Devil Lilly: ::CLANG CLANG CLANG::

Tomo: ::grabs a tablecloth and a spoon:: I'll save the rooster! I'm SUPER TOMO! ::jumps:: I CAN REACH HIM! ::continues jumping up and down::

Tamahome: ::hurls::

Nakago: Go Tomo Go!!

Crowd: Eww...

Chiriko: *sniffle, sniff*

Tomo: ::grabs one of Suzaku's tail-feathers and swings from it:: Whee!

Devil Lilly: ::poofs onto Chiriko's shoulder:: What's wrong, kid?

Suzaku: ITAI! *grabs butt*

Random Suzaku Fangirl:: WAI!

Chiriko: *sniffle sniff* My life sucks!! *sniffle*

Devil Lilly: O.o;; No it dun't! ::hugs Chiriko, chibified::

Miboshi: *looks around frantically and possesses Chiriko* Aaah, relief....

Chiriko: YES IT DOES!!

Tomo: ::falls from the air with a detached tail-feather from Suzaku::

Devil Lilly: Why do you say that?

*Miboshi's other body falls on top of Tokaki*

Tokaki: ::throws it off and into the crowd:: I'M SUPER TOKAKI!

Crowd: EW! EW! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Devil Lilly: ::leans her head into Chiriko's ear:: MIBOSHI! Get out of there! 

Chiriko/Miboshi: Because I just got possessed by a drunk Miboshi.

Miboshi/Chiriko: I needed a bathroom in that body.

Devil Lilly: O.o;;

Chibi Devil Lilly: ::pulls Miboshi out of Chiriko's ear::

Miboshi spirit: Curse you...*floats back to his bloated body*

Devil Lilly: ::cackles like Naga::

Devil Lilly: I saved you, Chiriko-chan! BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME!

Chiriko: *sniffle*

Devil Lilly: ::pokes him in the cheek:: What's wrong?

Seiryuu: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY UP IN THE SKY, THE BIG BIRDIES FLY... ::points at Suzaku:: WHILE DOWN IN THE NEST, THE LITTLE BIRDS REST...

Suboshi: Anikiiiiiiiii, you've got a Shinzaho stuck on yer head. *giggles*

::the Byakko Seishi join in:: WIIIIIIIIIIIITH A WING ON THE LEFT AND A WING ON THE RIGHT, THE LITTLE BIRDS SLEEP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Amiboshi: Honto? ::pats his head looking for it::

::Seiryuu and the Byakko Seishi continue singing the Birdie Song::

Tasuki: YOU MIGHT WAKE UP THE GODDAM BIRD FUCKIT!!

Camp Counselor: O.O

Suzaku: *snoring with a nose bubble*

Devil Lilly: I like that!

Devil Lilly: ::joins in and sings off-key:: THEEEEEEEE FARMER COMES OUT...

Seiryuu: Huh?

Chichiri: BANG NO DAAAAAAAA!! *giggles chibi-like*

Devil Lilly: ::continues singing alone:: WITH A SHOTGUN IN HAND! BOOM BOOM! BOOM BOOM! NO MORE BIRDS ON MY LAND!

Tasuki: Augh!! *clutches heart and falls over*

Lilly's Mom: Lilly! That's disgusting!

Devil Lilly: But Mooooom! You lean out windows and talk to groundhogs!

Tama: Reooooooooooow reow reooooooowwwwwwww!

Ryo-Ohki: MEOW! ::glomps Tama-Neko::

Luna: TAMA-NEKO IS MINE!

::cat-fight!::

Tama: *singing/meowing with one arm around Artemis the other with a glass of sake*

Artemis: Mreooooooow! 

::Luna and Ryo-Ohki continue, oblivious::

::Devil Lilly jumps back on Nuriko's shoulder::

Artemis: *is a drunk kitty too*

Tomo: ::is swinging from a cord hanging from one of the lights:: WHEEEEEEE! I'M A FAIRY PRINCESS!

Soi: X.X ::passed out on the table::

Suboshi: *appears in a peter pan costume* Think happy thoughts Aniki!!

Amiboshi: Think happy thoughts?

Miboshi: I WANNA BE TINKERBELLE!

Amiboshi: More like Tinklebelle!

Miboshi: *floats off and floats back in wearing a pink tutu and holding a wand*

Nakago: chicken.....*picks up Suzaku, carries him still sleeping to a table and pulls out a knife and fork* CHICKEN!

Devil Lilly: O.O;;

Miboshi: *whacks Nakago with his wand* HAPPY THOUGHTS!

Seiryuu: CHICKEN!

Seiryuu: ::bites Suzaku::

Suzaku: zzzzzzzzzzz

Genbu: *turns into a turtle and falls asleep on Seiryuu, shell down* zzzzzzzz

Byakko: *laughing at his goofy brothers*

Seiryuu: ::hack:: AIR! AIR! GENBU, YOU'RE CUTTING OFF MY AIR!

Chichiri: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! deedaledee!

Tasuki: There they are standing in a row!!

Chiriko: Bum bum bum!

Suboshi: *sniggers* Chiriko said "bum" BUM! Hahhh!

Seiryuu: ::manages to get out from under Genbu:: I CAN SWING FURTHER! ::lets go and goes flying into the crowd:: SWINGING THROUGH THE AIR WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE...

Tasuki: I'M A MOOSE!! *holding glasses on his head*

Chichiri: Moose-chan no daaaa!! 

Suboshi: MOOSE! WAHAHAH!!

::Amiboshi grabs a tablecloth and swishes it around himself::

Tatara: Seed....eheh...I said seed.... ( © Ki-chan. I recommend you go read her List of Doom and Muffins in my favorites list right away….after you finish this of course)

Suboshi: SEED! WHEEEEE SEEED!

Nakago: *hic* 'Ey, Tomo?

Devil Lilly: Hey! Let's all go to the fertilizer store and roll around in grass seed and manure until the grass and flowers grow out of our heads! (© Lizzie McGuire)

Nakago: Tomoooooo........

Tomo: ::goes swinging backward into the painted scenery::

::thwack!::

Chichiri: DAAAAAAAAAAAaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *falls over asleep, knocking over Chiriko*  
Chiriko: *gets knocked into a table* *KOed* 

::Tomo passes out happily in the scenery wreckage::

Suboshi: FISH!!

Seiryuu: I WANNA GO TO THE FERTILIZER STORE!

Suboshi: Fertilizer! WAHAHAHAAAAA!1

::Seiryuu rolls in a bunch of fertilizer and grass seed on stage:: Whee!

::grass and flowers pop out of his hair::

Amiboshi: I WANNA TRY! MOVE, DAMMIT! ::shoves Seiryuu out of the way and rolls in it::

Amiboshi: ::pretty roses pop out of his hair:: Pretty! ^-^

Byakko: *in chorus with Tasuki* IIIIIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER! IIIIIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER! IIIIIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER! IIIIIIIIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER! IIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER! IIIIIIIII'M A CUCUMBER PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO DA PICKLE FARM! YEAH!

::Tamahome is passed out with his head in the trashcan::

Suboshi: PICKLE! ACK! *gets hit by falling scenery*

::Farfello suddenly pops up:: FALLING SCENERY HURTS GOD! ::passes out with a sake bottle in hand::

Schuldich: I put crack in his sake! ^-^

Maze: So that leaves.....Seiryuu, Amiboshi, Tasuki, Byakko, Nakago, Miboshi, Hotohori, and the Byakko and Genbu seishi.

::Schuldich runs around dumping crack into their Nuriko Specials::

Maze: WRONG SERIES! *whacks the person away with a mallet*

Schuldich: WAAAAAAaaaaaah ::fades::

::Farfello is still passed out on the floor:: X.X

Mitsukake: *asleep with his head in a bowl* zzzzzzzzzz

Maze: *makes Farfello Far-away-fellow

Devil Lilly: ::is poking Byakko with her pitchfork:: You're a strong drinker!

Byakko: I ain't ducking frunk...

::suddenly Deedlit, Parn, Cecil, and Shiris pop in wearing red clothing:: NOBODY EXPECTS A LODOSS INQUISITION!

Devil Lilly: Uh, that's next door, guys.

Deedlit, Parn, Cecil, and Shiris: Aww. ::walk off::

Miboshi: TAKE ME WITH YOU!!! *holding his bladder shoots off out the open door*

Deedlit:: Ew! Get away from me! ::stabs him with the Shadow Rapier::

Anti-Miboshi Fans:: YAY!

Ashitare: *looks oddly at the drink still in front of him* aroo?

Devil Lilly: Is this one real? ::pokes Ashitare with her plastic pitchfork::

Ashitare: I say, Nuriko, my good fellow, why aren't you sober? And that hurt!! *swipes at Lilly*

Nuriko: I'm exempt *grins*

Devil Lilly: O.O;;

Nuriko: wait....YOU TALKED!!! *faints*

Ashitare: *blinks*

Devil Lilly: ::screams and jumps into the nearest Seishi's arms::

Devil Lilly: KOWAI! ::points plastic pitchfork at Ashitare::

Devil Lilly: ::pokes Seishi with her plastic pitchfork:: CHUG! ;:points to a still full Nuriko Special::

Ashitare: *blinks* It does smell quite nasty. I'll refrain and simply exit for some dog biscuits I left in the oven. Farewell. *exits....into the broom closet* My, dark in here...

Lilly: ::locks it:: HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nakago: *snoring on the pile of Genbu and Suzaku. Fails to realize the turtle/snake Genbu is holding him like a teddy bear*

Genbu: Fluffles...zzz.....

Devil Lilly: ::whips out a camera and takes pictures:: Hehehehe.. ::whispering:: Home shopping channel fodder!

Devil Lilly: So who does that leave?

Maze: Well Ami-chan's being strangled by roses which I think Tatara are controlling

Maze: Seiryuu's face down in brown cow fertilizer....ugh...

Amiboshi: TATARA! ::gag:: CALL THEM OFF! CALL THEM OFF!

Devil Lilly: Eww...

Tatara: Seeeeeed!! *cackles*

Devil Lilly: O.o;;

Hikitsu: *whacking Tomite with his eye-patch* DIE EVIL MARBLEHEAD!! WAHHA! *hits himself* *falls over* @_@

Tomite: ::is sitting on the floor crying like Usagi:: ::falls flat on his face::

Tokaki: Hey! You're HOT babe! *leaning on Nuriko*

Nuriko: O_O.

Devil Lilly: ::whacks Tokaki with her pitchfork:: BACK OFF!

Maze: *watches Subaru pull out her frying pan* uh oh....

:Subaru: ::whacks Tokaki and drags him off::

Amefuri: *one of the Byakko Seishi we never saw* She has some high alcohol tolerance.

Tasuki: *having a staring contest with Byakko*

Devil Lilly: Go Tasuki! ::waves flag::

Tasuki: ..........zzzzz

Byakko: zzz.........

Maze: *blinks* they're asleep with their eyes open......

Maze: Which leaves....

Tatara: SEEEEEEED!

Devil Lilly: ::sweatdrop::

Devil Lilly: Yep. Tatara and Subaru... who seems to have left.

Tatara: Seee....*clunk* zzzzzzzzzzzz

Maze: You know what....I was gonna write a Survivor fic....but I think this hit the nail in the head =D

Devil Lilly: Yep!

Devil Lilly: And I already had the showdown between Byakko Seishi and Seiryuu Seishi.

Maze: *pauses* *blinks*

Maze: oh...my...god...

Maze: Tatara...didn't...win....

Devil Lilly: Huh?

Tama: REEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *dancing with Luna*

Devil Lilly: I see.

Devil Lilly: ::snickers::

Devil Lilly: ::bursts out laughing::

Maze: The cat...has a good tolerance level....

Devil Lilly: No kidding.

Ryo-Ohki: ::is crying:: ::holds up sign:: "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, TAMA-NEKO!"

Maze: And...so ends.....this fic......stunning...

Chibi C: *swings out on the curtain close rope* [The end no da!] *curtains close as he swings back in*

Fangirls: KAWAII!


End file.
